Alice and I really didn't expect all of this to happen the way it did. ._.
Jirou: ::fidgets with the phone card before putting in the seemingly endless numbers::
Gakuto: *curls up in a ball on the couch in the darkened living room and waits patiently for Jirou's call*
Jirou: Stupid..codes... ::finally hears a ring tone, though, and nearly jumps:: @_@
Gakuto: *answers his phone, not bothering to uncurl* Jiroujirou. T_T
Jirou: Gakuto! ::exhales a breath; he didn't realize he was holding it.::
Jirou: ::nearly stumbles over his bag on the floor, but manages not to fall, as he sits on his bed.:: ....Feeling any better?
Gakuto: I miss you. ;_;
Jirou: I- ::feels all choked up suddenly:: ....I didn't realize I'd miss you guys...as much as I do.
Gakuto: I... I know it's selfish, that I'm selfish, but I... I really miss you... wish you were here so much.... *tears start slowly trickling down his face*
Jirou: Gak.. ::pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.:: .....
Jirou: We have the phones.... ::finally speaks again, quietly. Tears are rapidly welling up:: .....
Gakuto: I know but... it's not the same. It's not the same and looking over and seeing you there and everyone helps, Bunta tries to and Yuushi and everyone but I -- *chokes up* They're not -you-. But... I can't win, I want you to have fun on your trip and not be sad but.. I'm selfish.
Gakuto: I shouldn't say this, shouldn't want to, but... I should lock it up along with all the other things I shouldn't say to you.
Jirou: ::Wishes that he had a phone cord right about now. Instead, Jirou clutches the bed's comforter.:: Na na...Gakkun... ::his voice wavers:: I- ....You're not being selfish...
Jirou: You're... Well, I wish that- ....::his fingers tighten their grip:: I'm so lonely right now, Gakkun...
Jirou: The language here is so tough... Talking to you know, I- ...well, it's the first time I've used fluent Japanese in almost a week! ..........
Gakuto: It's so scary... thinking of you off in all these different countries with all these languages..... I always think - 'what if Jirou needs help?' or 'what if Jirou needs a hug?" or 'what if Jirou meets someone' - *breaks off abruptly and draws his knees up to his chest, phone pressed tightly against his ear*
Jirou: B-but you know that I'm all safe, ne? ::tries to smile a little, in hopes that it'll reach Gakuto.:: I did a lot of research about where I'm going, and... and when I- ::pauses to wipe his eyes::
Jirou: ...ano...I brought all the gifts you gave me, with me. And..and the picture of us, from junior high. Before we were regulars, y'know?
Gakuto: I know. *smiles a little* Those... were nice times, weren't they, Jirou? When it was you n' me... I just... I wish I hadn't been so stupid and wasted so much time, I could've told my parents to fuck off and grown up a little and gotten a job and gone with you.. maybe then, this wouldn't hurt so fucking much..?
Jirou: A-Aa... ::smiles a little, again.:: But what can you do, really? ._. I wouldn't exactly wanna turn back time, 'cause of how different it could be, but...
Jirou: I want... I wouldn't want you to come along, for the sake of me, y'know? Gakuto has dreams, too. He should begin -now-, and...and do -whatever- it possibly takes to achieve them! I believe in him. And.... And even though it may hurt right now, the results will be the very very best, and worth it!
Gakuto: *a little more harshly than intended* But I wouldn't be! I'd be where I really wanted to be, who I want to be with, and don't you see, -you- are my dre - *shuts up abruptly, mouth open with shock, as if just now realizing what he's saying*
Jirou: ... ::swallows:: I- ::doesn't quite know how to respond. It's easy enough - for Jirou, at least - to get what Gakuto's saying. Or, trying to.:: G...Gakuto....
Gakuto: ...I... I... I should go, it's late and I have class in the morning and Yuushi's probably wondering where I am and you probably have places to go and people to see and I better go. Goodnight, Jirou, and we'll talk again soon, okay? We have lots of things to talk about because Russia's such a cool place and all and... *finally trails off, slumping on the couch, feeling so very confused*
Jirou: ::feels as his face heats up a little. He doesn't know what to say, yet...well, Gakuto can't hang up, not yet!!:: I won't let Gaku hang up until he feels better... ::speaks in a bit of a murmur, his gaze lingering to one of their photos:: .....
Gakuto: Don't worry so much, okay? You should have fun and I'll be fine. I promised you that I'd be strong, didn't I? And I will, I don't say things I don't mean and it's... it's nothing to worry about, I miss you and you've never been this far away before so.. I'll be fine, I really really will and Jiroujirou should have fun and not worry about me...
Jirou: ::A melancholy smile edges onto his lips. Jirou's fingers twist the comforter as though it were indeed a phone cord.:: I -do- worry though, Gakkun. That's the thing. I-... You'll be strong for me, and me for you...but no matter what, we'll both worry. I can't -not- worry about someone I care for more than words...
Jirou: Sure, it may sound odd, but... but it's a good thing, I suppose...? For me not to worry would be like.... well, it's be like someone forcing me to deny your existence, as well as Bunta & Keigo. ...::exhales slowly:: A-aa-...do you get what I mean? ._.
Gakuto: ...I guess so. *even more confused* I'm glad... I know I'm important to you so you don't have to worry about that, we've been friends forever, right? *bewildered little smile, really has no clue what Jirou is saying*
Jirou: ::He nods, though a bit slow.:: I...would never abandon you.
Jirou: Even if I had to live on the moon. I'd never, ever abandon Gakkun.
Gakuto: You wouldn't, I know you wouldn't, you're Jirou and Jirou never abandons his friends. *smiles a little sadly* You're my best friend and I know you'll always have my back, no matter what.
Jirou: And you'll always have mine. No matter where life takes us, ne? ::smiling sadly, too. He isn't crying anymore, but still feels...heavy...::
Gakuto: No matter where we go, we'll always be together. Promise. *tears up again though he's not completely sure why* We'll talk more later, okay? It's really late and it's been a long day, I wanna sleep.
Jirou: ::frowns a little:: Of course. ::feels as though there's a huge lump in his throat:: You sleep well, okay? I hope you have a really good day tomorrow, Gakkun.
Gakuto: It will. It has to. *wipes his eyes with his hand* Goodnight, Jirou. *ends the call and just holds the phone in the dark*
Jirou: ::tears up a little, again:: Goodnight, Gakuto. ::slow on hanging up. Jirou clings to the bed cover again, his knuckles almost white.:: ....